Dear Online Dater,
Where did you find this mermaid?! Did you get a picture with your iphone? I hope you were able to get a date with your insanely precious mermaid - that’s a rare find indeed.
L
December142011
December132011
I was hoping if we hit it off in our messages I could invite you over for a nice seafood dinner. I would catch lobsters myself, with my bare hands, from the nearest waters that inhabit them, which is the tank at the Red Lobster down the street. I would cook them for you in my kitchen…naked if you desire. Then we would indulge in the lobsters, along with any side dishes you would like, and a few glasses of wine from my cellar. Over dinner we could chit chat a bit, you could discover that I am more than just a guy with the physique of a greek god, and I could discover that you are a smart, sweet heavenly blessed beauty just putting on a calloused façade. If you enjoyed my company then perhaps we could do it again if not then you leave with a stomach full of good food when otherwise on a night like that you would throw one of your Lean Cuisines in the microwave and watch Oprah.
Dear Online Dater,
Thanks so much for your thoughtful message. I bet you’ve developed your greek god physique from all the lobster hunting you’ve been doing. I can put the lean cuisine aside, but our date will have to wait til after Oprah. Let’s save the nakedness for the second date.
Best,
L
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